Stop Pretending You're a Robot: The Real Talk on Managing Emotions at Work

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Here's something that'll make the HR department squirm: emotions belong in the workplace. I know, I know – blasphemy, right? After seventeen years bouncing between corporate boardrooms in Melbourne and Sydney, training everyone from C-suite executives to frontline supervisors, I've seen enough emotional train wrecks to fill the MCG twice over.

And here's my first controversial opinion: most "emotional intelligence" training is absolute rubbish.

The problem isn't that people are too emotional at work. The problem is we've created these sterile corporate environments where showing any human feeling is treated like a workplace violation. Then we wonder why productivity plummets and staff turnover looks like musical chairs.

The Great Emotional Conspiracy

Let me paint you a picture. Sarah from accounts is furious because the new system crashed again, deleting three hours of work. Traditional wisdom says she should "manage her emotions professionally" – translation: shut up and smile. But here's what actually happens: Sarah bottles up her frustration, complains to her colleagues during coffee breaks, and gradually becomes one of those employees who's physically present but mentally checked out.

Brilliant strategy, right?

I remember working with a mining company in Perth where the site manager prided himself on "keeping emotions out of decisions." This bloke would sit in meetings stone-faced while his team practically vibrated with stress about safety concerns. When I suggested he might want to acknowledge their anxiety, he looked at me like I'd suggested group hugs during shift changes.

Six months later, they had three near-miss incidents. Turns out, when people can't express concerns about dangerous situations because it's "too emotional," you get problems. Big ones.

The Netflix Generation Gets It Right

Here's controversial opinion number two: younger workers actually handle workplace emotions better than us crusty veterans.

Before you start muttering about "snowflakes," hear me out. The Netflix generation grew up expressing feelings through social media, gaming communities, and collaborative projects. They're comfortable saying "I'm stressed about this deadline" or "I'm excited about this opportunity." Meanwhile, us Gen X-ers and Boomers were trained to treat emotions like inappropriate dinner conversation.

I was running a conflict resolution session last year when a 24-year-old team leader completely schooled a department head who'd been managing people for fifteen years. The young leader said, "When you dismissed my concerns in yesterday's meeting, I felt undermined, and it's affecting my ability to motivate the team."

Simple. Direct. Honest.

The department head? Spent ten minutes explaining why feelings weren't relevant to budget discussions.

Guess which team consistently hits their targets?

The Practical Stuff (Finally)

Right, enough philosophy. Here's what actually works when managing emotions at work – and it's not about suppression or corporate zen meditation:

Acknowledge First, Analyse Second When someone's emotional about a work situation, the absolute worst thing you can do is immediately jump into problem-solving mode. I learned this the hard way during a restructure in Brisbane where I kept trying to logic away people's fears about redundancies.

Newsflash: logic doesn't fix fear. But acknowledgment does create space for rational discussion.

Use the 72-Hour Rule Strong emotions about workplace situations usually peak within 72 hours. Not always, but enough to make this useful. If you're furious about a decision or devastated about feedback, give yourself three days before making any major responses.

This isn't about cooling off – it's about perspective. What feels like career-ending catastrophe on Monday often looks like minor inconvenience by Thursday.

Create Emotional Escape Valves Every workplace needs designated spaces and times for people to vent, celebrate, worry, or decompress. Some companies do this naturally through Friday drinks or team lunches. Others need to be more intentional.

I worked with one Brisbane firm that instituted "Real Talk Tuesdays" – fifteen minutes at the start of team meetings where people could voice concerns, celebrations, or random thoughts without solutions required. Productivity increased 23% over six months.

Made up statistic? Maybe. But it felt right, and sometimes that's what matters.

The Leadership Minefield

Managing your own emotions is one thing. Managing other people's emotions while dealing with your own? That's like juggling chainsaws while riding a unicycle. In a thunderstorm.

Here's where most managers stuff up: they think emotional management means emotional control. Wrong. It means emotional navigation.

When your team member is stressed about workload, frustrated with systems, or excited about opportunities, your job isn't to fix their feelings. It's to help them use those feelings productively.

Stress about workload? That's valuable data about resource allocation. Frustration with systems? That's free consulting about process improvement. Excitement about opportunities? That's motivation you can harness for better performance.

But here's the catch – you can't navigate other people's emotions if you're not honest about your own. And this is where Australian workplace culture gets weird.

We're supposedly this straight-talking, no-nonsense culture, but put us in a meeting room and suddenly everyone's speaking corporate euphemisms. "I have some concerns" instead of "This is bloody stupid." "Perhaps we could explore alternatives" instead of "This won't work."

The Authenticity Problem

Companies like Google and Microsoft have figured out that authentic emotional expression actually improves performance. But most Australian businesses are still operating like it's 1987, when showing any emotional range beyond "mildly pleased" or "professionally concerned" was career suicide.

I had a client in Adelaide – won't name names, but they're in manufacturing – where the CEO genuinely believed that passionate disagreement was "unprofessional." His senior leadership team had turned into emotional zombies, agreeing with everything in meetings then complaining bitterly in private conversations.

Revenue was stagnant for three years.

After some emotional intelligence training, they started having what the CEO initially called "uncomfortable" meetings. People expressed genuine enthusiasm about projects, real concerns about timelines, and honest disagreements about strategies.

Last I heard, they'd had their best financial year in decades.

Coincidence? I think not.

The Energy Management Secret

Here's something they don't teach in business school: emotions are energy. Positive emotions create energy, negative emotions drain it, and suppressed emotions create the worst kind of energy – the toxic, passive-aggressive kind that poisons entire departments.

Smart managers don't try to eliminate workplace emotions; they try to optimise emotional energy.

Anger about unfair treatment? Channel it into advocacy for better policies. Anxiety about changes? Transform it into thorough preparation. Excitement about possibilities? Direct it toward innovation and improvement.

But – and this is crucial – you can't do this manipulation through corporate speak and management techniques. People aren't stupid. They know when you're trying to "manage" their emotions versus when you're genuinely engaging with them as humans.

The Permission Problem

Most workplace emotional problems stem from permission issues. People don't know what emotions are acceptable, when they're acceptable, or how to express them appropriately.

So they either bottle everything up (creating passive-aggressive workplaces) or let everything out (creating dramatic workplaces). Neither works.

The solution isn't more rules about emotional expression. It's clearer modelling from leadership about healthy emotional engagement.

When I'm frustrated with a client's slow progress, I say so. "I'm genuinely frustrated that we're covering the same ground again, because I think you're capable of more." Not "Perhaps we could accelerate our progress."

When I'm excited about a breakthrough moment, I show it. "This is exactly the kind of thinking that's going to transform your culture!" Not "That's an interesting perspective."

When I'm concerned about someone's approach, I express it directly. "I'm worried that strategy will backfire because..." Not "We might want to consider potential risks."

The Integration Challenge

The hardest part about managing workplace emotions isn't the emotions themselves – it's integrating emotional honesty with professional effectiveness.

Because here's the thing: some workplace emotions aren't helpful, even when they're understandable. Fear of change can be paralysing. Resentment about past decisions can poison future opportunities. Overexcitement about new initiatives can lead to poor planning.

The skill isn't in suppressing these emotions or letting them run wild. It's in acknowledging them, understanding what they're telling you, and then choosing how to respond.

This is where dealing with difficult behaviours becomes crucial – because often, those "difficult behaviours" are just emotions that haven't been properly processed or expressed.

Look, I'll be straight with you. Most Australian workplaces are emotionally constipated. We've confused professionalism with emotional numbness, and it's killing our productivity, our innovation, and our job satisfaction.

The solution isn't therapy circles or feelings workshops. It's honest leadership, clear communication, and the radical idea that humans work better when they're allowed to be human.

Your emotions aren't the enemy of your career. The enemy is pretending you don't have them.